life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
His hands were made for my vagina.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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