Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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