Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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