So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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