You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Drunk is not a location!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
