found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
