32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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