dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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