We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
