"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Sext me about skeletons
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
that is very illegal...i love you.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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