maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
