She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
God I need to hump something, right now.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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