it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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