JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
