I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
