So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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