Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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