I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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