so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
