i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
