we're blogging at a bar
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
