And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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