1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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