We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
