just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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