She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
