The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize