I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
