Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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