were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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