5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
