I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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