8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
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It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
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I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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