Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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