You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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