I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize