So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize