we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
