you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
