she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize