u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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