So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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