You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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