I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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