I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
