dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
