I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
