would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
