I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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