Ambien. No doubt about it.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
