I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
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