Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He better not be in your backpack
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
