I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
