I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
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mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
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I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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