Kiss
Puke
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
