Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just blew my weed a kiss
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
