after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
