no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
