garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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