Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
