So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
apparently the secret to your success is patron
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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