At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
