I'll bet she douches with gravy.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
